Learning to Stay
My old website had the words "You do not need to suffer in order to grow" across the front page. I very much believe them.
Discomfort, however, is often (always?) a part of growth. Our bodies, minds and souls carry rememberings that can resist expansion and tell us it's not safe. Growth can feel scary because of the unknown.
I think most everyone reading this knows this. We know the fear, and we know our resistance.
The times I want to jump away from presence most often are when my growth edge brings about self-doubt, shame, and/or feelings of a lack of self-worth. These are all real, but can also be a common way for me to stay stuck in something, and at times, keep me self-absorbed. A distraction of a well-worn story. Sometimes, it's my way of sabotaging to keep myself where I am - keeping myself in something familiar, even if it's deeply painful.
So how do we learn to stay in our discomfort, our leaning in? Allowing myself to dip underneath these can help call me forward. Curiosity to what is causing the shame, or bringing up the doubt. But not forcing myself to stay to the point of activating my fight/flight/freeze response. Finding the edge. Cultivating our resilience.
Sometimes, it's needing reflection from others to help me see what my protection does not want me to see.
It's finding the things that make me laugh and bring me joy. It's connecting with others who get that being human can be fucking intense and are committed to the journey. It's crying while sending funny memes. It's staying with my practice. It's staying with my practice. It's staying with my practice*.
Yes, the astrology seems to be opening a new chapter. Yes, there is a sense of hope and brightness and light at the end of the tunnel. Do not dim that! But as this year comes to a close, remember that things don't just get better with the turning of a calendar page. Try to remember the practice of this moment, and loving things as they are. Not as they will be.
How can I love my life today? How can I choose myself in this moment? And if that question brings up grief, please reach out. Really.
May we hold each other well.
*By practice I mean: meditating, connecting with Spirit and my guides, having silence, doing my daily energy work, sometimes using tools to help me see like cards, dancing, and other things that come through on any given day that keep me connected to myself.
